Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo), a former Mexican Federal. The film opens in Mexico with Machete and his younger partner on a mission to rescue a kidnapped girl. During the operation his partner is killed, the kidnapped girl stabs him before being killed herself, and he is betrayed by his corrupt Chief to the powerful drug lord, Rogelio Torrez (Steven Seagal) who kills Machete's wife and implies killing his daughter, before leaving him for dead.
Three years later, a down and out Machete roams Texas, scraping by on yard work. Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey), a local businessman and spin doctor, explains to Machete that the corrupt Texas State Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) is sending hundreds of illegal immigrants out of the country. In order to stop this, Booth offers Machete $150,000 to kill McLaughlin. Machete accepts the murder contract after Booth threatens to kill him if he does not.
Machete trains a rifle on McLaughlin from a rooftop during a rally, but before he fires he sees one of Booth's henchmen aiming at him. The henchman shoots Machete in the shoulder and then shoots McLaughlin in the leg. It is revealed that Booth orchestrated the attempted assassination as part of a false flag operation to gain public support for McLaughlin's secure border campaign. By setting up Machete as the gunman, the conspirators make it appear that an outlaw illegal Mexican immigrant has tried to assassinate the senator, who is known for his tough stance on illegal immigration.
An injured Machete escapes capture by Booth and is taken to a hospital to be treated for wounds, escaping once again from Booth's henchmen at the hospital. Agent Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), a persistent U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent, is sent by her superior to find and capture the injured Machete. Machete, with the help of Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), aka Shé, the leader of an illegal immigrant aid movement known as the Network, recruits Padre (Cheech Marin), his "holy" brother. To take revenge on Booth, Machete kidnaps Booth's wife and his daughter, April (Lindsay Lohan), after "starring" in an amateur adult film with them. He also collects evidence from Booth's house linking McLaughlin and the Mexican drug lord in a major drug trafficking deal. After encountering Machete, Sartana begins to develop an interest in him. Elsewhere, Booth, who is revealed to be working for Torrez, hires a hitman, Osiris Amanpour (Tom Savini), to assist in the hunt for Machete.
Booth and Osiris kill Padre in his church, but do not find his own wife and daughter, and unbeknownst to Booth the church has cameras. Through the CCTV recordings, the news of McLaughlin's corruption and faked assassination is eventually aired on national television. Infuriated, McLaughlin kills Booth and heads back to join Torrez to kill Machete. In order to eliminate the people who double-crossed him, Machete gathers the Mexican Network and leads them to the base of the border vigilantes, led by Von Jackson (Don Johnson).
During this confrontation, the Mexican illegals triumph over the border vigilantes. Jackson tries to escape, but Luz shoots him in the back of the head. Machete fights Torrez, culminating with the drug lord committing seppuku with one of Machete's blades with which he has just been stabbed. April shows up wearing a nun's habit after escaping from the church and shoots McLaughlin after figuring out that he has killed her father.
McLaughlin, injured, manages to escape, but he is later killed by the last remnants of his own border vigilante group, who mistake him for a Mexican. The film ends with Machete meeting with Sartana, who gives him a green card. They kiss, and ride off into the night.
Before the credits roll, the announcer says that Machete will return in Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again.
Cast
Danny Trejo as Machete Cortez, "a legendary ex-Federale with a deadly attitude and the skills to match".
Robert De Niro as Senator John McLaughlin, a politician campaigning to incite hatred against illegal immigrants.
Jessica Alba as Sartana Rivera, "a beautiful Immigrations Officer torn between enforcing the law and doing what is popular in the eyes of her familia",[8] and Sartana's twin sister in deleted scenes only.
Michelle Rodriguez as Luz/Shé, "a taco-truck lady with a revolutionary heart".
Jeff Fahey as Michael Booth, "a ruthless businessman with an endless payroll of killers".
Lindsay Lohan as April Booth, "a socialite with a penchant for guns" and "a nun with a gun".
Cheech Marin as Padre Benicio Del Toro, Machete's brother, "a priest who's good with blessings, but better with guns".
Steven Seagal as Rogelio Torrez, the main antagonist, a drug lord, and Machete's former partner with the Federales.
Don Johnson as Von Jackson, "a twisted border vigilante leading a small army".[8] The character was originally known as "Lt. Stillman" and was meant to be Sartana's superior.
Billy Blair as Von Jackson's henchman Billy.
Shea Whigham as Sniper, Booth's first henchman.
Tom Savini as Osiris Amanpour, a hitman hired by Booth to kill Machete.
Felix Sabates as Doctor Felix
Electra and Elise Avellan (The "Crazy Babysitter Twins") as Nurses Mona and Lisa
Cheryl "Chin" Cunningham as Torrez' henchwoman
Daryl Sabara as Julio
Alicia Marek as June Booth, the socialite wife of Michael Booth and April's mother.
Ara Celi as Reporter
Tito Larriva as Culebra Cruzado
Nimród Antal as Booth's bodyguard #1
Mayra J. Leal as Naked Cell Phone Chick
Rose McGowan as Boots McCoy (deleted scene).
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